“It’s not that I want to die. It’s just that if a semi were barreling towards me…I wouldn’t exactly jump out of the way.”

My linear logical left brain began a frantic search for loopholes, reasons, if thens, and the multitude of what if’s. The right brain surged with images, metaphors, hope, light, color, seasons, and tried desperately to hold back the tears. Time loses all bearing in such moments. A white flag rose between the two brains. I placed my folded hands against my heart. My eyes locked into the other’s. Quietly I tapped my heart with my fingers. With an even softer voice I whispered, “I know. I know” as my fingers continued to tap. Eyes still locked I could see the other’s shoulders drop. No more words. Just the stillness and silent tapping of my heart.

Why a conversation from long ago returns this evening I will not question. The moon has risen to greet the sun. Tis just days from what is considered and marketed as the merriest of days. The moon’s beauty offers not comfort but yet another long dark night alone and void of joy and light. These humble words are for you.

I offer the moon against the lighted blue sky. With one hand my fingers continue to tap my heart. The other hand is open to you. Not alone. So not alone. I know. I know.

Blessings, peace, and the ever present vigil of day dancing with the night.