Friday night, I sat and wrote. Not with my computer. Bravely, I chose and pen and paper and let my thoughts stream…..
“I have always called my writing scriches because of the sound of writing on paper. I began writing long before typewriters and long before computers. I shall endeavor to write again.
I am in awe of my photographs streaming over my monitor. I figured out how to setup the screen savers to shuffle through all my photos. I will say I am in awe of all that I have been graced to see. Not a professional – my camera is either on auto focus or sports for movement. The settings are side by side. My eyes through the lens is my heart exposed. I am in awe. An odd feeling for me to say about myself. I have rarely praised myself. But watching the random stream mesmerizes me
But I need to go to bed. Dibley, my dog, is snoring beside me. Whiskers, my cat, is helping me write as she purrs. It is cloudy and the moon is playing peek-a-boo.
Today I got my Missouri driver’s license and tags. All vestiges of Colorado are gone. I am home in Missouri now. And most gratefully, and miraculously so, they did not ask me to do the vision test – as they did the applicants before me.
Whiskers has reached down to slow my writing so perhaps, another day, I might be able to read. As if I could. Writing is sacred. Especially in our world now overtaken by email and texts. To feel the words form in your brain and take order in shapes, bumps, squiggles, and curves. Writing and photography are what I do. They are how I see the world. Literally and metaphorically. I see what is and I write. My handwriting is as blurry as my vision. I guess I am symmetrical that way. That makes me chuckle. Slow down, I tell myself. Try to actually focus on the words. You are writing. You will never catch up with your brain or the autopilot of typing. Writing and photography make me pause if only for the moments of catching my breath, steadying my shaky hands, deciding if this blur is actually focused and the shudder of my heart….did I get it right this time? Maybe…just maybe.
The computer has gone to sleep. No more streaming pictures and distraction from forming the words on the page. Today I have written. I have taken a picture of Whiskers helping me. I may even gather my photos and create my own random stream. But…alas….
My little Dibley is still snoring. The day is over. Time to think about going to bed. Maybe the writing takes the “thinking” out of going to bed. Frog legs again tonight? Will my weary mind suddenly wake up once I lie down? That’s the “thinking” part about thinking about going to bed. That’s the part I need to let go. I think my hand as done all that it can. Good night sweet scriching paper and pen. Thank you.
Now to disturb the cat and put pen and journal down. She will not be pleased. But I want to join my snoring dog and, alas, the cat must be dethroned.
Good night sweet scriching pen and paper. Namaste.”
It is now Sunday. Tonight was the super moon. She is playing hide and seek and I cannot drive in the dark to a better viewing area. I gathered my pen and paper and cherished the sound of the scrich. And then, I gathered random photos to stream. They shall be the rose petals leading me to bed. Tonight, like Friday, my little dog is snoring. The cat shall be dethroned- again. I leave the stream here with all the “thinking.”
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