Two weeks or so of pondering the depth of depression and brokenness in our world as I’ve entered my new career. How can I help? Is presence enough? Is unconditional listening and opened heart the right balm? My training and so much of the research and practice would say such brokenness is pathological, a mental illness. People who suffer from depression or other brokenness will probably tell you of their feelings of being flawed, something is wrong with them, they are hopeless to themselves and others, As the medical model and our culture has made them feel, they would say they are ‘sick.’ You cannot just tell someone entrenched in such thoughts how beautiful their heart feels or the amazing glimmer in their eyes. My heart ached.

Then to stumble upon the book Darkness Before Dawn: Redefining the Journey Through Depression, published by Sounds True. The whisper’s gift. Never did it deny the pain of depression but the doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, and writers who wrote their stories described the very real beauty that depression can gift, the awakening, the hope, and the absolute shattering of the myth of illness. I have no doubt there are other books but this is the one that found me. My heart was lifted. I bowed to Life in gratitude and hope.

Having finished the book I mowed the yard as my heart continued to ponder the readings. I came in to rest and the wind’s dance so loud I could not even hear cars passing in front of the house. That is when I heard the sound. I knew it was my friend, a Raven, but the call so different. So different it trumped the wind. Not just the one syllable “Caaaw” sound. No, this was like laughter with its repetitive and syncopated rhythm. It truly sounded like laughter. I scurried to the window to see what was making him laugh. My curiosity alerted me to the rain that was blowing in my windows on that side of the house unknown because of the wind’s force and the rain’s direction. Did not see the rain until I went to that side of the house and discovered wet windowsills and carpet. My turn to laugh. Oh my friend, were you laughing at a little hobbit’s open windows and her distractions? Windows closed I scanned and scanned trying to find the laughing Raven. I could not find him in the tree. The image is where I thought the sound was coming from. And as I scanned, zoomed, and furrowed my brows trying to see, the Raven continued to laugh…. and so did I.

So what does a book on depression, fierce wind gusts, pouring rain, and a Raven laughing have in common? No matter the storms and winds that buffet those with depression, if you listen you can hear the beauty and laughter. Yes, maybe the rain will pour into the windows of your souls. Yes, maybe you will be slow to realize what is happening or needs to be done. So many yeses. And no, you may not quickly see the gift or angel or ray of hope but it is there. It is there calling you to the window to see, hear, and feel. And for those who love, live with, worry about, or work with someone suffering from depression, may you hold fast to the Raven’s laughter though he is unseen and the windowsills and carpet are soaked with tears. It too is there for you. Patience, presence, willingness are the ribbons adorning the gift.

I don’t question why the Raven was there nor why he was laughing. I don’t need to know the why. I don’t need to demand he show himself so I can have a picture or proof. I only have to stand at the window and listen to the beauty of the gift.

“My boat strikes something deep. At first sounds of silence, waves. Nothing has happened; Or perhaps everything has happened. and I am sitting in my new life” ~ Juan Ramón Jiménez, Oceans