A fallen officer’s funeral and so many gathered to say good-bye. A day off to attend to doctor’s appointments. So many  gathered for the funeral I chose to walk to each appointment. It seems like a lifetime ago when I would walk everywhere. Movement. My work now has me sitting all day save for those precious moments I step outside. At first the memories of so much walking bathed my soul and body as I re-discovered strength in my legs. I flashed back four years ago when I laid down in a mountain river next to the small green plants and froze in the river’s bath. I felt so alive as the cold waters rushed over and beside me. The rushing riverbed sand filled my shirt, shorts and caressed my body.  I began to laugh out loud as my body shivered to remember. A baptism.

As I passed the junior college where the funeral ceremony was being held my feet came to a halt to see all the cars. But it was the two fire trucks with ladders extended up and holding the largest American flag I’ve ever seen that stopped my momentum. Placing my hands to my heart I bowed towards the doorway where all were gathered. I bowed to the officers who stood on the balcony above the doorway and their trumpets shinning in the morning sun. As I started to bow to the flag I noticed the stars were dark in the sunlight. A brighter light.

This afternoon, wanting to keep moving I was drawn to my elliptical exerciser. The singer’s voice, Tina Malia, washed over me. One cannot stay in the baptismal river. One is baptized to arise and go forward. Life is fragile. Sometimes the breath of life leaving seems to blow out the candles of the night. But a brighter light shines. A day of remembrance. A day of remembering. And the whisper…. “Remember the sound of the river.” “I may wander far away…I am not afraid…”