Today may be the “official” Mother’s Day, but for me, Mama’s Day occurred in a different month and on a different day.

My mother called me at work – something she would NEVER have thought to do. I grabbed my cell phone and scurried out to the parking lot where I would make endless circles walking as we talked. Mama had been struggling with her colon cancer and she had made a decision. She wanted to tell me first because she would need my help. She had not told my Dad, her sister, no one. She was afraid they would try to talk her out of it. She was going into hospice and would let the cancer run its course unabated. She was ready. She had made her choice.

Though never explicitly said, she reached out to her daughter whose own choices were totally against many of her beliefs. Beliefs are like that. The world cannot be a solid mass of either land or water. We need both. There will always be a divide between the two. My choices had created huge divides at times. What we rely upon, and our survival is dependent upon, are bridges of love that join the two. Build the bridges and we draw enormous strength from land and water. In that moment, I knew, she finally appreciated the profundity and complexity of making choices, and how important the bridges are. We can be land and water. That’s not the problem. Not building the bridges is what kills us. She had made a personal choice that would impact her family. Not common for a true southern woman raised in a culture and belief system that said her duty was family first. She needed me, the one who had dared to make choices, to help her build the bridge and not deny her, her choice.

So, on this official Mother’s Day, I celebrate that day as Mama’s Day. I hope she knows I would still be walking circles in that parking lot if it meant I could hear my Mama’s voice as strong, loving, and unafraid as she was that day. Choices and bridges Mama, your legacy for which I grateful.

A deep bow to you Mama. Namaste