I remember the restaurant episode…as have many of my family. I confess, I tended to wander and be bored in restaurants. My father, was fast reaching his tolerance and strongly uttered, “Control yourself!” To which, I immediately began to pretend to twist dials and push buttons on my arms, head, and trunk of my body accompanied by the appropriate “beep beep” sounds. Children depend on facial recognition but his was an alien combination of absolute frustration and controlled laughter. He resumed eating. As did I, having secured my alien victory.

I thought it would be funny to hide my mother’s glasses in the freezer. She was frantic trying to find them and called my father, at his workplace, to ask if he knew where they were. She had no sooner hung up than the phone rang again. She told me it was my father and he wanted to speak to me. “Where did you put them?!!!!” I boasted of my genius placement. It received an alien response.

My brother and I were playing with the hose outside. I thought it would be grand to whip the hose around him the way cowboys did with their whips. Unfortunately, TV and reality are alien and it left quite the mark and injury. He ran to my mother who uttered the dreaded words, “Wait til your father gets home!” I scurried to my room to wait. I decided the best defense was a good offense. Quickly, I wrote a note, “I’m sorry.” I slid the note under my door so he would see it before my impending doom. I waited. I waited. I could hear he was home but no knock on my door. My mother called me for supper. Not a word was said. Alien silence….and forgiveness perhaps?

My mother took great pride in her cooking. My father and I loved salt. She often complained that we salted her meals, which she had worked so hard to prepare, without even tasting. One night, she served our favorite dish. I thought her demeanor was alien as I reached for the salt. My father and I took a bite at the same time and immediately looked at each other with our mouths full. His eyes screamed, “Just eat! Don’t say a word!!!” We did. We also drank a lot of water. Future meals were tasted before salt was added.

I remember him coming home from work with a big clunky thing I had no idea what it was until he sat it on the table. He saw it at a garage sale on his way home for work. The most beautiful humongous old fashion typewriter. The keys almost ate my little 9 year old fingers. I squealed to hear the bell when you returned the carriage.  I learned to type. I fell in love with writing. I remember looking at him and thinking “how did you know?”

I remember, after my mother died, standing at the airport with my father.  It was an alien moment of two adult marionettes with our strings tangled and not knowing what to do. I suddenly realized that you can’t undo the past. Things happened. But you can lay a foundation on the past and build from there. Doesn’t deny the past. But, neither does it deny the future. I gave him an alien hug and the foundation was laid.  Alien and normal. And, even the alien, to me now, is beautiful.

I love and miss you Daddy. A big hug from your often alien daughter!